he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Im at the zoo right now high out of my mind and feel as if the animals are watching me and Im the one in a cage.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Your penis has nothing to do with my throat infection, sorry...
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
fuck sobriety. I want to wake up tomorrow in a park or some shit.
Jello shots? I thought you weren't drinking tonight.
Im not drinking im slurping
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
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