Is it bad that now when i read ingredients in the food I eat i only read it as shrooms instead of mushrooms ?
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
i'm out of college. that means no more sex on a twin bed. ever. i don't care how big his dick was. i'm classy like that.
I just saw that blonde chick you wanna bang rolling down the hall wearing a Thor mask..
Wow. We're meant to be..
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
SHE GRABBED MY FULLY ERECT DICK IN A BAR AND STUCK HER TONGUE DOWN MY THROAT AND I COULD NOT CLOSE
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
I remember yelling at him telling him that the strippers were "nice people."
You stumbled into the hotel room escorted by security and then went into the bathroom sat by the toilet, threw up for hours while slamming your head on the wall and whimpering "why" over and over.. I went to bed
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
They want a bedroom just for their cats. And you thought we were gay.
Im not as flexible as I once was, but I still managed to get eaten out in the front seat of a hummer behind keddies.
Randomize
