I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
hahaha my homeschooled cousin put up graduation pictures. it's just her standing in front of her fire place. With a hand made diploma.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
On the bright side I still get a $20 referral bonus at the plasma center even though he passed out during donation because he was so high.
RIGHT?!?! I'M ACTUALLY UPSET I DON'T GET TO MAKE THE 2.3 MILE TREK TO SUCK HIS COCK, yes I google earthed it.
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
well it got awkwardly quiet so i looked up, slapped his stomach, said "youre the best!" while pointing at him, and went right back to sucking his dick.
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
I need a fuck buddy with more available hours
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
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