Come home. Im drunk and cutting my own hair. This is bad, i need you.
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
He proposed that we "bone". I've completely given up on boys.
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Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
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The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
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