bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
and after you realized your puke was bright blue, you started crying hysterically and screaming, "I DON'T WANT TO BE A SMURF!" no more uv blue for you.
he screamed my twitter name while we were having sex.
The smiley face on that pregnancy test is so damn taunting. It's like it's laughing at me for my poor choices.
I drove to my yoga class while eating a piece of bacon. Wow. I see myself in a whole new light.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
as you might have guessed from my lack of texts, the herpes have calmed down.
People dont know what to do when a naked fat guy is running towards them. they panic
Lets watch game of thrones and have sex every time someone is naked. It'll be like a drinking game but better.
Hey, I'm renting a storage locker for the summer to keep all my bondage shit in so my parents don't see it. You wanna split on it for your all your weed shit?
Does it count as a threesome if your friend drunkenly has sex on top of you while you're passed out?
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
Randomize
