Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
I feel compelled to tell you that I woke up this morning and found an entire corn on the cob in my purse. Ive decided not to question my drunken behavior anymore, and to just accept it as my lifestyle.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
Favor? Can you not wear as much glitter on your face this time? Walking in the house looking like a disco ball was enough embarrassment for the week 😒
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
All my friends are going on vacations with their boyfriends while I’m over here in court trying to get a restraining order against my ex....
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