we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
All I know is I had a penis in one hand a bottle of wine in the other
Im not moving so it's going to have to be a 3 some.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
Wait, is this the kid that tried catching a bat in your backyard with a flashlight and a ball of tin foil?
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I'm calling in my "fuck at anytime anywhere" card. Meet me at my place in 20 min, wear your Waldo costume.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
Is it sad the checkout lady had to inform my mom she can't buy alcohol before 8am?
Randomize
