allegedly i woke up at 5am sat in the dishwasher and peed
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
I had fun watching you interact with the world around you. Like a fuckin 8 year old kid who just discovered build a bear but really wants a cigarette.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
Awk. Hanging with her while messaging her ex about sex injuries he gave me
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
Just went to court for a citation. Guess who my DA was? That girl I ATM'd last weekend. No ticket for me!
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
BITCH IT IS YOUR BIRTHDAY AND I'M STARTING ON A FISHBOWL OF LIQUOR WITHOUT YOU
I read that out. Group response is "Katie is hard as fuck."
WITH MOTHERFUCKING MONKEY MITTENS
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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