you were so drunk when the pizza guy got there you told him that you didn't have any money and would trade him the pizza for 3 Porno movies and he totally did it. I may never have to pay for pizza again
thanks for brining me home and putting me in my bed. the pillow fort your built around me is also appreciated.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
I never want to hear the words 'my therapist says . . . ' while naked again.
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
Randomize
