everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
My doctor just informed me that my food allergies qualify me for a medical marijuana license. I get it on Tuesday. It won't help at all, but my life is awesome!
I don't think blacking out in class is a good idea. But I'm game
He just made me apologize because his morning wood is NOT a laughing matter.
I expected to wake up with a sext of you posing nude and all I got was a missed call.....disappointed.
I'm sorry I think it was because I lost a chicken nugget in my purse and that's all that was on my mind until 4am
These girls just walked into this party as reverse cowgirls... Wearing cowboy clothes all backwards
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Between randomly bursting into tears and the reappearance of my lost sex drive, this break up has left me bizarrely damp.
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
I'm bleeding and intoxicated as I'm walking to my final right now. Wish me luck
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