So it wasn't until I came that he pointed out the glow in the dark plastic star still stuck to my forehead. Fun times.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
Watching tv. She's giving me head and she hates it when I watch her.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
Randomize
