Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
If you dont, I will tell Dad you are gay.
Fine, and I will tell him you fucked his business partner
Previous statement retracted.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
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Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
it's just one of those nights where i don't care if anyone sees my vagina
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
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The guy I blew last night was pierced in multiple places. I had to use extra caution to avoid my temporary filling.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
I dont think you understand. A NOODLE FELL OUT OF MY VAGINA! I DEMAND TO KNOW WHAT YOU DID TO ME LAST NIGHT!
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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