the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
Fuck Jersey, the house im in is so baller but this state just cannot win.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yeah. she rolled up to the party on a unicycle then peed in the bushes. TA of the year.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I walked in on him successfully eating chips and masturbating at the same time. I don't know whether I should be ashamed or proud.
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Oh dude I know. When something that's supposed stop pregnancies taste like chocolate something's up
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
He bought me shrimp and alcohol and referred to himself as daddy. I am in love.
Well 1) stay calm 2) stay safe 3) drink more
Randomize
