69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Jager Bombs are cool, but hydrogen bombs are where it's at. Sparks and jager equals instant black out, I mistakenly tried eating a cigarette thinking it was a nacho.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
went from writing my paper to watching obamas speech to crushing beers and singing springsteen in a crowd of 100 within 20 minutes. I love this country
She was so morning drunk she asked the lady at brueggers for a bandaid and my self respect back
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I lowered my expectations when he started off saying "ah missionary, my specialty"
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
Although, she is an extremely cool person. She put the "buddy" in "fuck buddy." And I mean that in the most respectful way possible.
Randomize
