Non-Jews are for practice
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
Just heard my neighbor say "I'm just gonna lay down in a coma until someone comes into my room and hands me a beer." He's got his priorities straight
I want him to rain dance my fallopian tubes.
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
There's lube on my homework. #priorities
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
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