her voice is like 435,765 daggers being simultaneously twisted into my eardrum
i'd rather just be hit by a car than answer her phone calls
Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
We got the possum out of our house. We built a maze with our empty kegs and chased it with brooms.
Anything that comes outta your cooch is bound to be breathtaking
That could use a little rephrasing
he forgot we were at my place and not his so he tried kicking me out of my own apartment by saying "so, you can go whenever you want...."
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He showed up at my front door with Plan B and a rose...
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
Randomize
