Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
In my junk email folder, there are literally 67 messages from Alcoholics Anonymous. What..the fuck.
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
I told him I felt we were at the point where if I saw him talking to another girl, I'd probably choke him out. So I guess you could say things are getting serious.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
all a girl really needs is a few good pair of leggings and a drug dealer that delivers.
I thought if I bought the most expensive pregnancy test I would look like I had my life together
I feel like I shouldn't be left around 30 year olds when I'm drunk
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
I’m turning 34 on Friday and I feel like the only thing I’ve accomplished in life so far is getting into pissing matches with clients
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