ok so the lil girl sitting behind u was picking the hairs off ur sisters back and putting them in her mouth
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
Be careful down there, Shane may have pooped on the carpet.
We started a mustache riot at white castle at 4 in the morning. Will explain in detail.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
So wait. Let me get this straight lol... you... are are considering offering fetish services to "trample and own" someone for $80 in order to pay for someone to come organize ur shit? Pure genius.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
Oh my god I haven't had mozzarella sticks since I banged that Applebee's waiter
My day so far: morning after pill and pancakes. Living the dream.
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
However, pretty glad I spent the night puking on my car instead of fucking him. Then I'd REALLY be miserable.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
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