why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
remeber the saying "bad choices make good memories" dude our bad choices dont even make memories.
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
Remember when you brought a guy home from the bar... to our parents house.... on thanksgiving eve?
Randomize
