How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
Yeah i mean there's 3 guys fighting over me. It would just be bitchy of me not to get with at least 1.
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
theres a new barista at starbuck holy fuck she's hot
i want to face-plant into her vagina
Just found out that guy A from the threesome I had is now dating guy B's younger sister
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
COME HERE AND I WILL SUCK YOUR COCK UNDER THE LIGHT OF THIS BEAUTIFUL ELECTRICITY
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
Randomize
