the $50 fast cash from checking button should just be retitled "8th of weed"
just opened a can of spagetti o's with a butter knife. the things u will do for food when ur stoned.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Dude... there's chunks of hair all over the floor, and no one knows how they got there. You guys just made out right?
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
If anyone ask I'm rushing for brotherhood, not so that this bartender will suck my dick
I've never been to a "going away to jail" cookout. do we bring a present?
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
Randomize
