we have pet lesbian snakes
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
Oh my god, I hid a wine bottle in my boot.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude she pregamed for her sorority's philanthropy.
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
He deserves someone who will touch his penis at 3 a.m.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
You were on the train yelling, "THIS TRAIN NEEDS TO GO FASTER SO I CAN GO HAVE SEX WITH MY BOYFRIEND!!!"
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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