omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
i looked at dads computer and apparently he was looking at job ads on craigslist and the only one clicked that turned purple said "GET PAID TO MASTURBATE"
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
that's why you don't digest questionable powders from girls wearing tutus at a dirty club
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I'm going to buy her a puppy, let her fall in love with it, then kill it in front of her. Does that answer how I feel about her?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
Fuck I am so excited for the first time I can make someone call me Doctor Nikki during sex after I finish my PhD
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Annoying and petty is the name of the game and I'm the MVP.
You wouldn't put pants on to see my parents.
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