He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Anyways, i'm off to play with a rubber dick and a ouija board with two other girls...
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
Well I will be attending the wedding with a flask of wine, potentially with a straw, and POM POMS for cheering purposes. Needless to say I will be well lubricated by your arrival..
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
