If Bret Micheals dies..will VH1 have to go off the air?
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Oh right she's pregnant - that's why all of her statuses have been uber depressing
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
They are gonna stay together and get married and have 2 children before he wakes up and realizes that there is more to life than anal
Still, being medically ordered to stuff things in your vagina is amazing.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Randomize
