We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I got asked if I was pregnant as a pickup line
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
I flossed his teeth and then we had sex in the bathroom. It just seemed like a good idea.
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
For the record, it's NEVER ok to discuss my stripper-related injuries with my fiance.
I feel like there's no sexy way to pull 12 condoms out of your bra.
Is it possible to break your brain with drugs?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
Just broke my no shot rule again.. Made out with a stranger. That's 0 for 3 this month for the record
Friends don't let friends go vibrator shopping alone.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
