I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
I'm like 99% sure I made out with Kevin Spacey last night. Not good.
I have an asthmatic alcoholic for a roommate. That can't be safe.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
My liver is begging me not to go, but sadly enough for him my feet and hands control me getting there.
Dude. I'm super jealous I'm not there. Plus I look really pretty tonight, I'm wearing my long blue dress, I have long blonde hair, and I'm just sitting here hitting Larry the Long Bong. I'll pretend like your 3 spirits are floating in my smoke. Fuck.
I'm just opting for alcohol abuse, ramen and cuddling with my dog for now.
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
U sent me lyrics to wind beneath my wings
My liver misses your liver
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Crawl out into the sunshine and off your vibrator for 7 minutes
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
