I woke up this morning in a strange bed with a kid with an accent playing with my feet.
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
my mom said i couldn't bring cigarettes cause it was a family trip, which was really irresponsible of her because now i have to walk around the beach drunk trying to find someone with cigarettes.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
Want to have dinner and we can talk about how my vagina can make you feel better?
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