I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
we were hanging out in his room and he decided to play WoW.. so i took off all my clothes while he wasn't paying attention and laid on his bed and started playing with myself.
did he notice?
of course he didn't notice.. he was playing a fiesty level 1 fucker that wouldn't give up..
His birthday is on fathers day. I know its a cruel coincedence but this is too funny to pass up.
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
Let's run into the wild and just eat berries and have sex all the time.
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Drunk is a universal language darling
Randomize
