the only time it's appropriate to sing In The Air Tonight by Phils Collins is while sake bombing at Cal Beach
um or while having sex on a train
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I just want one of her status not to be about Jesus.
WHY are the edges of my bra charred???
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Don't get me wrong, the sex itself is amazing, but I don't think I will EVER get used to her habit of singing lines Jesus christ super star when she is about to cum.
I just put on lipstick to sext him. That should tell you where my love life is at.
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
Holy shit dude........stairs
Hey do u remember the time we used my mascara wand as a drink stirer?
One day I'm going to get tired of waking up and wondering where the glow sticks on the floor came from.
Randomize