Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
Tonight was a total waste of a shaved vagina
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
party at the soccer house. crumbs in my sexy panties. can't. put. pieces. together.
Randomize