I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
I'm mentally preparing my vagina for this semester. It's fucking welcome week. I'm going to be talking to her all night.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
dude I just got a noise complaint from my apartment people for loud sexual activities. I'm framing this for sure
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Just came to the realization that what I thought were orgasms were just lightheadedness from hyperventilation. My entire sex life is a lie.
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
Talk about having your cake and eating it he has basically demolished the whole fucking bakery
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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