in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This is drunk me apologizing to sober me in advance.. I am sprry about you're trashed house. Mom an dad will be home by 5 so get up and clean. P.s. Mike is in the closet passed out.
I seriously dont think i have ever ridden a horse sober.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
I know and I love you for your valets putting your thong on your seat
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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