I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
Just to save you guys the surprise, somebody shit outside of our door.
Just ordered an appetizer sampler to distract the fat chicks so we can escape
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i went to the store to buy my pregnancy test they were giving carnations to all the moms and they gave me one and said "just in case"
I love that your last three texts to me were "Drunk." "Getting laid." "In the hospital."
We passed my parents while I was giving him road head...that awkward
I'm always drunk lately
Now I'm in a game of hide and seek in Sears
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
It's like bringing a chick home from the bar the night before and waking up to thinking you are about to go another round... Just to wake up and find she's already left...
Is it possible to sluttify a hobbit costume? Cause if so, this will be my biggest accomplishment.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
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