her teeth looked like a whores toenails, i was too horrified to
I don't think cute and don't forget to get tested belong in the same text
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
Is it bad that John just came to my work to have sex with me bc I felt bad that he slept on his porch last night locked out and I missed all his calls?
By midnight I was dipping doritos in frosting...that's how my simmer break diet is going.
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
How do you think the people in my class would react if I ripped all my clothes off and jumped on him right now?
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Tell me again your tentative move date. There are 5 Russians in my apartment on ecstasy and they are having a rave in my living room. I can't. I need to move stat
I still owe him the card with all the sperm paper cutouts falling out like glitter saying " sorry you can't hold your load. Better luck next time "
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
