fyi, i just bought my first strap-on. the little mermaid theme song was playing in the background.
I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We are so on opposite sides of the boobs spectrum
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Fuck you guys, I'm trying to nurse my hangover and eat my chicken tenders in peace.
You just thought it would be a good idea to show your penis to your best friend. No harm, no foul.
These random guys found me. They told me not to wander in the woods and i remember saying 'am i fucking Bambi?! I'm not gonna walk into woods!' then i threw up.
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