That arnold schwarzeneger picture looks strikingly similar to paul
Not half as good looking as paul
I'd say paul has bigger bicep peaks, but who am I to judge
Did you hallucinate the same white buffalo that I did last night.
No, but I did see you shaking hands with a homeless man.
S and I had anal without a condom because I'm on my rag but he didn't finish. Should I still take Plan B?
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Like "oh its Monday, gotta get wasted today!" not "oh its Monday.. Gotta go to class"
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
She's throwing herself an "I just had a baby" shower, where she makes up for 9 months of sobriety then squeezing a watermelon out of her vagina.
Grindr hookup awareness: always make sure that you agree to blow one person and they aren't bringing a Friend/boyfriend. Shits weird when you're sober.
Why aren't you two playing Dora the explorer with each other's genitals yet?
this temple that is my body is starting to crumble and turn into ruins
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
i think im in europe. pls send help
Randomize
