If immigrants and dwarves find love, why can't I?
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
I have to overdose on valtrex I had a rough weekend.
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
I have one of those hangovers where you visualize how awesome it would be to climb in your fridge and drink glacier water
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
you walked in, put on rap music and started chugging vodka
I was just randomly reminded of the night you were wrapped up in a bed sheet carrying a full bottle of cookie dough vodka and warning neighbors of the weirdos running around
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
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