they bought blue cups instead of red...wtf how am i supposed to pretend im on laguna beach??
I didn't mind getting the stomach flu from him. we had great sex AND I'm seven pounds lighter
you were watching the nanny crying, saying I wish I was that thin eating twinkies. THAT DRUNK.
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
animal crackers drenched in taco bell mild sauce... surprisingly delightful
breakfast of champions
breakfast of stoners
He said I act like a cross between a kindergartener and a high 70 year old man. Which is inacurate because it fails to account for the disco obsession.
I fill condoms, not promises.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
I completely forgot about the posting of partying pics shortly after adding my gma my dad was like grandma says your all over fb but she doesn't know how to use it. Of course I'm all over her fb. She's got 6 friends I am her newsfeed
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well now you know my birthday fantasy: gangbang consisting of men wearing NPR pledge t-shirts.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Tequila shots and throwing it at a bell.
This is dumb. I'll keep doing it.
Randomize
