All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
Coming down off exstacy at a church event. Resisting the urge to dance to the church hymns.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
We found them in a dumpster making out trying to get their privacy
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Apparently he proposed after he saw me chug vodka out of a traffic cone.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
See, I'm just thinking of how...angular my room is. You probably would have sustained brain damage
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
My boobs are too perky to pay that much for a car
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