Do you remember last night at all? Be honest
I need to look at the pictures on my camera to fill in the gaps.
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
I woke up with what has to be a whole pack of smarties loose in my bra. Was that your fault?
Are these your boobs on my camera?
Randomize
