I'm drinking on the job... HEAVILY
i just remembered that i beat off next to you while we were naked and passed out next to each other after last night... No Homo
So I'm banging this nun...
Isn't that how all good stories start? I like it already...
i almost got kicked out of the rave because i was trying to get in on some couple's makeout sessions
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If she has AMC, I may have to fuck her today. I want to catch up on the walking dead.
Please collect your boy friend. He semi-passed out on the couch and trying to grab bums as people walk by. Anyone's bum, he's not choosy.
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Was I asleep on the ride home?
Yea, then when I tried to hold your head up on a turn, you round house punched me in the face.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize