hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
as soon as I walked into work this morning, my boss called me out on my hangover, patted me on the back and said I'm getting time an a half for even showing up. Did I really look that bad this morning?
We're celebrating his weight gain and arrest.and by we I mean I, and by celebrating I mean getting dangerously drunk
Watched him slip somethin into her drink. Dragged him of his bar stool, punched him out, and told her what i saw. Bartender used some chemical to confirm presence of rophynol. Just woke up at her place
Nypd just made jon and hayes chug their forties.
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
There were containers of weed in the piñata. How much more Colorado does it get
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
Randomize
