Oh man I wish you'd been in the car w/ me today. I followed a school bus home filled w/ young boys and I flipped them off the entire way. They loved it.
She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
I sometimes wonder how many of the girls I know have done anal...and why none of them have ever dated me.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Hey. Can you be so hung over that you get a rash?
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
czant get you from the arport. sry i found the rum. dan sucks at rumpong jusrt so yo knoqw.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
after the shots you kept on yelling "this is for the dreamers"
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
Is it weird that I'm smoking a cig on my back patio in a sports bra and underwear?
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
Randomize
