I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I thought we were but then I freaked myself out. So I kind of geared him up for take off and then cancelled the launch
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
It was bitter sweet because I woke him up with sex but then I peed in his bed with him in it
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
So apparently, after 11 beers, 2 pitchers of sangria and 3 rhum & cokes, the idea of popping a load of MD and jumping on the trampoline, in the woods, in my underwear was the best one ever.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
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