There was so much of it... it was like he poured a bowl of pudding on my face. It's not bad for your hair is it?
brittany murphy hurts far more than michael jackson, patrick swayze, etc because i never masturbated to any of those other people
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
its official: beach shits are the exact same as mountain shits
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
This is embarrassing but i think i might have left my fake tooth at your house on your night stand.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
He is like the "hometown sweetheart", but a huge freak. Like "I'll come change your flat tire"....but then fuck you like an animal in the back seat.
Sure go ahead and start this 'business' with him...just don't come crying to me when you have to fake your own death in two years
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
Was that before, or after strip tac toe.....
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
