i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Masturbating after my cheeseburger. It's unavoidable.
I was drunk at peters. now im drunk at my apartment. and hungry. but mcdonalds is broken. wtf
im goin to the NYE party with a tuxedo painted on my body. i know a girl who does it. wanna join?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
So I think his penis grew over the weekend. Is that possible or does absence make the dick grow longer?
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Remind me in the morning that I've now seen a guy do crack. That actually happened. I'm at the wrong party.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we got to the strip club as they were closing, and you starting crying because, and I quote, "This is the closest to birthday sex I'm gonna get."
earned some solid air miles from the plan B I just bought. #silverlinings
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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