he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
There is a distinct lack of front teeth here.
And on top of all this... he just told me to "chill my nips."
apparently it was the return of drunk burrito sex.
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I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
on the list of things i learned today that are not stripper poles: ex-boyfriends, table legs, and police officers.
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
It was like die hard. Except with more penises.
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Nutrition teacher wants anything i eat or drink documented for the week including dancefestopia. Do you know the recommended daily ammount of psylicybin or MDMA?
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Are we allowed to ho on the roof?
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