OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
woke up with a sweatshirt on that said "someone special calls me grandma" and a sword. i'm just going to assume that it was a good night
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
someday i'll meet a woman who will love me for my marvelous breasts and ignore my many character faults.
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It’s like a buffet of marriages! Every option is available to you!
I think I found my saving grace in the form of a beard at the bar.
Sorry I didn’t really get to say goodbye last night I was busy vomiting in your fathers front yard
Randomize
