Have you finally orgasmed yet?
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Never remove your contact lenses after eating an entire bag of spicy doritos.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
