goodnight i made you a song goodbye
here I sit at Southern Illinois' finest pubs and I thought I heard your laugh. I was sadly astonished to turn and find a midget cracking herself up reading the label on her can of chewing tobacco...
no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i might have gotten away with it if "don't tase me bro!" wasn't the first thing i said when i rolled down my window.
while 90% of the female population goes to worship a fictional character tonight at midnight, I will be taking advantage of having the bars ALL TO MYSELF.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
This milkshake tastes better than sex. Priorities, I have them.
you can't tell me it's over and send me pics of you and your cat?
I am wrecking havoc on the skinny girls by going home with the big one. She is taking me to see her dog now.
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Sex on acid. Try it. I thought we were fucking in outer space with fireworks inside a rocketship car. Best.
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
Randomize
