I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
I need a pic of your cock for our cock collage
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
The trees feel like magic. Come fly to taco bell with me.
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
I'm pretty sure I just need an IV drip of Plan B at this point...
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
How many times is too many times to use the word 'fuck' in my thesis?
I drunkenly texted ur dad last night telling him he raised great kids hahahahaha
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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