don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
At any point in time, have you stopped and thought "I wonder how high Willie Nelson is right now?
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
I mean you guys are my friends and all but if you fuck with me I will not hesitate to set you on fire
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
i think you may have a shot to cock block in a moment. just saying.
Wake up an cock block please bc these are noises i dont ever want to hear again
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
So both cops helped talk her into coming back into the bar and doing a shot with me. The main argument being, "a bar is no place to be sober!"
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
It's 11:13am and my chem prof is drinking a beer in class. I guess finals week is stressful for them too
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
Randomize
