An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
When he grabbed my tits it felt like he was either giving me a mammogram or trying to pierce my nipples with his fingers.
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
50% drunk capacity currently
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
The worst part about living in a small town is partying with your pharmacist and then having to buy Plan B from him the next morning.
You kept ranting how Captain Planet is getting shortchanged in the superhero department. Other than that you kept it together
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
Randomize
