when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Less talking, more tequila
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
when seducing a hipster, do you think taking a nude pic on a lomo-camera app would increase my chances? grainy off-colored boobs and telling him how much i like reading salinger?
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Just took plan b with my eggs and chai...homecoming got the best of me already
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
IT WAS JUST SO LITTLE AND AWKWARDLY FLOPPING BACK AND FORTH
she's always on high-alert for lesbians
Randomize
